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The Penguin Is My Power Animal

We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be using Windows, and Microsoft Office, and DRM. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. F*@# off with your MS Windows and its ribbon interface, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let...let's evolve, let the chips fall where they may. Advertising has us chasing after Aero interfaces, working jobs we hate so we can buy s@#$ we don't need. In the world I see - you are using Linux in the open community centers around the ruins of price gouging software vendors. You'll use PCs that will last you the rest of your life. You'll take elevators up through the buildings of open source corporations. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures using Gnome, sitting at KDE desktops.

You're not your job. You're not how much money you have paid on software. You're not the PC you use. You're not the contents of your hard drive. You're not your f*@#ing desktop gadgets, ActiveX, or Microsoft Office. How much can you know about yourself, you've never used Linux? I don't wanna die without using Ubuntu, or Fedora, or Mandriva. So come on; install the LiveCD before I lose my nerve.

A new operating system, say Windows, built by a company tries to install on someone's PC. The screen locks up. The system crashes and burns with everyone angry they ever opened up their wallets. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of copies in the computer stores, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.

Do you know what an Aero interface is?
It's a graphical user interface with heavy system requirements forcing many people to upgrade their...
It's a desktop, just a desktop. Now why do guys like you and me know what an Aero interface is? Shouldn't a desktop be lean and lightweight and stay out of our way? Is this essential to our survival, in the computer user sense of the word? No. What are we then?
...Consumers?
Right. We are consumers. We're the bi-products of a lifestyle obsession.

F*@# what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that's your problem. Forget about what you think you know about PCs, about software, and especially about Windows. Software, desktops, distributions, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are overpriced software, having to buy the same application over and over, bloated and lazy programming forcing me to upgrade my computer.

What do you want? Wanna go back to a slow PC, f*@#in' blue screen of death, watching DRM? F*@# you, I won't do it. We're a generation of men raised on Windows. I'm wondering if another Windows desktop is really the answer we need. Get off of your pricey software. Download a copy of Linux. Stop the excessive shopping and purchasing of software you already own...Prove you're alive.

We met our power animal. Mine was a penguin.

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